


In which Infinite never shuts up

by elysian7



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Crack, Gen, infinite being idiots, kinda scifi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 18:38:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9561734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysian7/pseuds/elysian7
Summary: The worst Sunggyu expects when he comes home from Japan is a burnt down apartment, not this absurdity...





	

“Nam…..”

“Y-Yes??”

“What have you done this time?” Sunggyu looms over Woohyun. The elder doesn’t glare nor glower at him, he simply smiles, an obviously strained one and that terrifies Woohyun even more.

The leader has been away for a few days for a schedule in Japan. There’s no need to appoint who’s in charge during his absence. He fully believes the kids are old enough to responsibly manage themselves and don’t burn the whole apartment complex.Besides, they’re not really living in the same apartment anyway; Howon, Dongwoo and him living together while the others are living in the apartment downstairs.

“He provoked me!” Woohyun raises his hands in defense.

“That’s the least of my problem, Nam! How on earth did you get your hands on that stuff in the first place?”

“I don’t know?!” Woohyun replies exasperatedly but shrinks right away when he sees the leader narrrows his eyes on him The younger gulps. “It’s Sungyeol.”

Of course.

Of course it’s Lee freaking Sungyeol.

Sunggyu massages his now throbbing temple. “Where is he?”

“Well,” the younger stares at his bounded wrists, “H-He met the same fate as Sungjongie.”

The elder curses his luck and slumps into the couch, putting one of his arms over his eyes he grumbles some curses under his breath. After hours of being in the airplane, all he want is sleep.

 

***

 

Woohyun in some ways had, well, shrunk Sungyeol and Sungjong.

“I can’t believe this! Oh my god I shouldn’t be laughing.”

Sunggyu glares at the main dancer. This is serious shit; they might lose two members and there’s no way they can explain the situation to anyone else without getting their ass sent to the asylum.

Howon is still doubling over, laughing so hard his brain might just come out and he apparently finds the whole situation amusing but it isn’t the same for the second eldest. Dongwoo looks the exact opposite and Sunggyu has had enough headache to deal with so he prays, oh he prays that the rapper will not cry.

The two rapper were not at home when Sunggyu arrived. Howon was hanging out with his dance buddies and Dongwoo…… let’s just say he’s doing some outdoor activities thanks to Pokemon Go.

After putting away his luggage, he went down to the apartment downstairs to check on the others.

And he almost got shrunk too when he stepped into the strangely quiet apartment, but thank god the beam hit the door (which inevitably shrunk) and not him. After a series of ‘WHAT THE FUCK WOOHYUN’ and some civil negotiations (death threats) from Sunggyu, Woohyun finally let the leader in with promise that the elder won’t kill him.

Of course that didn’t stop him from whacking the hell out of Woohyun with a rubber chicken (why the fuck is this laying around oh well most probably it’s Sungyeol’s) and kicked the device out of the younger’s reach.

Long story short, Woohyun is now tied to Myungsoo’s whirlchair with his hands and feet bounded with what seems like Sungjong’s scarfs. The maknae is furious.

“You guys are so dead once I get myself un-shrink. How fucking dare you use my scarfs to tie down that sorry excuse of a human. They’re fucking expensive! If there’s a single rip I SWEAR TO GOD I’M--”

Sunggyu throws his arms in defeat at the incessant yelling from the tiny tiny tiny maknae standing on a pile of magazine. He asks Myungsoo to find him something, ANYTHING really to replace the scarfs. The visual nods and silently walks to his room and retrieves some bookstraps after rummaging through some boxes.

Woohyun whines when the bookstraps dig into his skin but he knows all too well to not complain when the leader gives him that pointed look.

“Lee Sungyeol, mind explaining from the start?”

The said guy is trapped in an overturned plastic cup, courtesy of Sunggyu. Dongwoo insiists on poking some holes and Sunggyu all too gladly stabbed the plastic with Sungyeol still trapped inside.

 

They thought they would never find Sungyeol in the mess of clothes and rubbish scattered around the apartment. Dongwoo even dramatically fell limp on the doorframe, crying, “I think Gyu-nim had stepped on him. Oh god, hyung check your feet if there’s any blood.” But thank god there’s none so there’s no need to buy two coffins; one for Yeol and one for Dongwoo since the rapper almost had a cardiac arrest.

The maknae growled, “You better come out! You have to take responsibility for this, you chicken!”

The throbbing in his head intensifies. “Desperate circumstances call for desperate measures,” Sunggyu said as he grabbed the aerosol can on the fridge. “Fucking come out Lee Sungyeol or I’m gonna spray this shit all over this apartment like that fog in Silent Hill and I assure you choking to death is definitely not a wonderful experience.”

 

Sunggyu taps the plastic cup impatiently.

“Hyung, you’re giving me an headache!”

The leader glares at his not-so-tall-anymore member and the latter visibly cowards.”How did you get hold of that device in the first place?”

The man hangs his head low and starts talking, “I was walking home from buying coffee this morning and--”

“Coffee? You deadass went to Starbucks that’s two streets away when we already have a goddamn coffee machine?!”

“--there’s this old lady with--”

“She could be a sasaeng. Aren’t you the most ninja when avoiding them? The last time you encountered them you reacted pretty badly and it was the worst, I tell ya. I had never--"

“Hyung,” the younger main vocal interrupts, clearly annoyed. “You talk too much.”

All six of them glare at the eldest and he rubs his neck sheepishly. “Sorry, I got carried away.”

“Anyway,” Sungyeol rolls his eyes. “Where did I stop? Ah, right! The old lady!” he starts tapping his finger on his cheeks, trying to remember this morning’s event. “She was selling some stuff, her stall was on the bridge near that river we once threw Myungsoo’s bamboo pillow into--”

Myungsoo whimpers. “Looks like someone’s still traumatized,” Howon says humored.

Sungyeol glares pointedly at the dancer but the latter just shrugs. “You guys should have seen her display table! It was just a rickety fold table but the stuffs splayed there was nothing like it. I don’t even have any fucking idea what those things were and when she tried explaining what this or that stuff does, I didn’t even understand shit.”

“It’ll be a surprise if you understood, anyway.”

He ignores the maknae’s remark and continues, “Then after promoting seven random devices, my head was already spinning from all those big words she used and I was so ready to pick my ass up and flutter away but she insisted me to listen to this one last device and you just CAN’T TURN DOWN OLD PEOPLE. YOU CAN’T!! It’s like old people have this power to make you do stuff you don’t really want to.”

“Yeol, that is called seniority,” Sunggyu answers boredly.

“Or you’re just softhearted!” Dongwoo chimes. “I know you’re all sweet and soft inside, like a pineapple! Rough and thorny at the outside, sweet and--”

“Yeah, yeah whatever,” quickly cutting off Dongwoo’s blabber before it’s too late. “So, 30 seconds into her explanation and I had had enough and bought it. The only thing that I understood was that it’s supposed to shrink stuffs.”

“And you believed it,” Howon quirks an eyebrow.

“Of course not, dumbass!” he scowls. “That’s the most outrageous thing since Namlatin.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

Sungyeol sticks his tongue out at Woohyun.

“And please stop mentioning your ass. It’s not even that great,” Woohyun gags.

Dongwoo raises his hand, “Excuse me but I beg to differ.”

“Dongwoo hyung, please don’t say anything inappropriate.”

“Okay, MyungL!!~~”

“So, I assume you already tested the device on something else. What else did you shrink Lee Sunyeol?!” the leader squints his eyes at the tiny man.

The said man glances at his best friend, “I… well, I might have shrunk Myung’s plaids.”

“I’m so not going to talk to you for a month.”

“Myungsoo-yah, it’s for the best. Remember how Sunggyu hyung fucking despise those plaid shirts?”

Flashing his wolfish grin, Howon continues, “It’s better for them to be shrunk than burnt to ashes by our dear leader.”

The said leader let out a sigh. “One should not trust old ladies selling shiny stuffs,” Sunggyu crosses his arms.

“I know.”

“On a bridge.”

Sungyeol nods.

“Especially when she uses big words you don’t understand.”

All seven of them hum in agreement.

“Now thinking about it, it’s quiet bizarre for her to know those big complicated words,” the leader frowns.

A brief silence ensues before Woohyun sighs, “Hyung, please. Not again.”

“Is she……. an alien??!”

“Oh god, he’s triggered,” the tied man moans in despair.

“We will never hear the end of this,” putting on the Hobitch face. “Hyung, you can save your alien theories for later but now we have to figure out how to un-shrink these little fellas here.”

“I have never thought I’ll live through the day where Lee Sungyeol is called ‘little’, hah!!”

Amidst Wooyeol’s banters, Sunggyu looks like he still can’t get something off his mind. “But Woohyun-ah, why did you shrunk Yeol and Jjong but not Myungsoo?”

Both of them stop their banter and immediately all eyes are trained to the man tied on the chair.

Woohyun’s about to open his mouth but Sungyeol beat him to that. “He shrunk us because he’s jealous of our height. Because we’re taller than him!”

The 3-second-silence is dedicated to the absurdity that is Woohyun’s alleged motive before Dongwoo burst out laughing first. Woohyun’s face visibly turns beet red and his pout is more prominent than ever.

“Oh my god, you still hold grudges from last week’s dinner?” Howon cackles. “Unbelievable.”

“That,”Sunggyu wipes his tears, “is a very Woohyun thing to do.” The others are slowly recovering from the laugh. The leader pets Woohyun’s head and chuckles when the man whines in protest. “But that still doesn’t explain why you spared Myungsoo.”

Woohyun groans when the elder ruffles his hair and he tries to look menacingly at the leader under his messy bangs but that only make Sunggyu chuckle even more. “Aww, so cute~~” he coos.

“Of course Woohyun hyung won’t shrink Myungsoo hyung” the maknae rolls his eyes. “Just look at how Myungsoo hyung clings to his shoulders. Obviously, he’s the favorite dongsaeng.”

“Say, Sunggyu hyung,” Dongwoo says as he’s munching on some chips. “ When was the last time you’re all touchey with Nam-goon? MyungL might as well take your place at this rate.”

Sunggyu coughs.

This is taking forever, Myungsoo stares around the living room. Yeol looks like he’s about to doze off, Jjongie is boredly checking out his nails while the others snickering at Sunggyu’s red face and throwing knowing glances at the leader. Woohyun hyung….. he’s still trying to wiggle out his hands from the bookstraps (Guys, I don’t think I can feel my hands!).

Well, it has been entertaining while it last but I have things to do so…

“Hyung.” Everyone whip their heads at Myungsoo who was quietly sitting at a corner, fiddling with his phone the entire time.

“What?” the leader inquires.

“Have you ever thought of checking whether there’s a reverse button or not?”

**Author's Note:**

> it was raining a lot lately and i think i'll give a try to write crack since angst would be too depressing with this weather. first time posting my work. this was supposed to be a drabble idk what happened.
> 
> english is not my first language.


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